Ten Steps To Overcome Rejection in Publishing
Rejection is inevitable in the creative journey. Whether pitching a manuscript, submitting illustrations, or seeking agents or publishers, rejections can be disheartening.
Disheartening, Frustrating, and, at Times, Deeply Personal
Rejection is part of the creative process. Learn to brush it off, grow from it, and keep pushing forward. Here are some ideas for staying resilient and keeping your creative spark alive, even when facing rejection.
Researchers have found that the pain from being rejected, may not be so different from a broken arm.
Apprehension of being turned down
Anxiety about disapproval
Dread of not being accepted
Worry of being cast aside
Fear of exclusion
Concern about rejection
Trepidation of dismissal
Insecurity about being refused
Unease about being spurned
Panic over non-acceptance
How Many Chances Have You Missed?
Delaying sending work to agents and publishers can be due to reasons becoming inceasingly irrational. There is never going to be the 'right moment' or is it fear of rejection? Procrastination often finds creative excuses, but it's essential to hit send - as long as you've read all the submission information really, really carefully...and read it again.
Fear can hold us back
For a child, the uncertainty of 'maybe' is more difficult to handle than a clear yes or no. It's like being stuck in limbo, not quite in heaven or hell, feeling the agony of not knowing. This feeling is the same for any artist awaiting feedback - the dreaded unknown. I greatly admired Ellen Sibley's approach at the US publisher Barron's - Ellen would promptly provide a definitive yes or no on being shown presentation material for a new book, providing a brief explanation for the decision. There was no prolonged back-and-forth of sending materials, waiting for feedback, send more and more material and then discovering your work was used for research purposes by the publisher. By the time you realised, it was already too late - the publisher was well into commissioning a version of your material.
Hammer on Enough Doors—One Will Open
Most people encounter rejection in various forms throughout their lives, whether in small, everyday situations or more significant moments.
Rejected
An invitation to lunch.has been declined. 'I’ll pass.'
I did not receive a callback after the job interview. 'deafening silence'
I was disappointed to see a project rejected by a publisher. 'No notes, no feedback'
A close friend drifted away without explanation.'faded out of my life'
These experiences can be discouraging, especially if they don't meet expectations.
Life doesn’t always go as planned.
Rejection
Rejection affects creatives universally. For individuals: actors, dancers, artists, writers, designers, and anyone who dedicates themselves to their profession, rejection can be deeply personal. When you put your heart and soul into your work, it becomes an extension of yourself. Therefore, when someone dismisses your creation or suggests changes, it can feel like a rejection of your very being. This is why JK Rowling likened the most terrifying creatures in the wizarding world, 'Dementors', to the feeling of waiting for a decision, as they are depicted as wraithlike beings that drain happiness and bring overwhelming despair to those in their presence.
Here's the reality: Rejection does not reflect on you or your work. It is influenced by various factors such as circumstances, preferences, timing, and numerous other variables that are unrelated to your worth as a person or a creator.
The right way to handle rejection can make it one of your most powerful creative tools.
Even later in your career, rejection can occur when mistakes made by accountants years ago affect the advice given on financial matters, potentially impacting the copyright and moral rights of authors or artists. This could lead to a situation where you discover that, you are facing a different form of rejection. Having your name removed from a creation you made and witnessing it being altered feels like cutting the connection between you and your work, resulting in something that was once unique but is now unrecognisable. It's as if you're losing a part of yourself - a bewildering, dreadful, and pointless erasure...reminiscent of being 'cancelled' and 'rejected'.
Eventually, success.
Accepting that rejection is an experience that all creatives go through.
at one time or another—can help you approach it with less fear and more resilience.
10 Steps
to help you overcome the anxiety of rejection and turn those 'NO’s' into opportunities for growth and YES and success!
1. Reframe Your Mindset
Overcome rejection anxiety by changing your perspective. See rejection as a step towards success. Each 'NO' brings you closer to the life-changing 'YES', although sometimes a 'YES' can have downsides.
2. Recognise that Rejection is not Personal.
Rejection in creative work can feel personal, but it often reflects the preferences or circumstances of the rejector. Remember, it's not a reflection of your worth. An example: a famous publisher once used pre-printed slips to inform creatives that a similar project was already in progress.
3. Separate your Work from your Self-Worth.
It’s crucial to differentiate between your work and your self-worth. Your creative output is just that— output. It’s not you. Just because someone doesn't appreciate your work doesn't mean they don't value you as a person.
4. Seek Constructive Feedback.
Seek feedback from rejections to improve. Separate your work from self-worth; it doesn't define you.
Constructive criticism is valuable for improving your work, but keep in mind that recipients are likely inundated with submissions, so detailed feedback will not always be provided. I received a very detailed lengthy two page rejection letter about my artwork from a long defunct publisher in Edinburgh, the reason for this long letter of misery remains a mystery even after forty-five years as to why anyone would take the time to write a rejection letter when they had no plans to give you work.
5. Build a Support Network
Surround yourself with people who understand what you’re going through. Fellow creatives, mentors, or supportive friends can help you process rejection in a healthy way. They can also provide encouragement when you need it most.
6. Set realistic expectations.
Not every pitch, proposal, or project will receive acceptance. You will consistently face rejection if you constantly put yourself out there. Expecting rejection doesn't mean you're pessimistic; it means you're realistic. It helps to soften the blow when it comes.
7. Practice resilience.
Resilience is like a muscle - the more you use it, the stronger it gets. Avoid dwelling on rejection. Allow yourself to feel disappointed, then move on. The faster you bounce back, the quicker you can get back to creating.
8. Celebrate Your Wins - No Matter How Small
Every "yes," no matter how small, is a victory. Celebrate positive feedback, a successful pitch, or finding the courage to put yourself out there. Acknowledging your wins helps to keep rejection in perspective.
9. Embrace the Learning Experience
Every rejection holds a lesson. Maybe it's your technique, the market, or your preferences. Analyse each rejection - prepare for many! Think about what you can learn from it and be prepared to try and ask ‘why’, this may lead to another rejection - but you have nothing to lose.
10. Keep Going - Persistence Is Key
Rejection can be a powerful teacher if approached with the right mindset. When you face rejection, it’s easy to feel disheartened, but it can also be a moment of growth. By asking 'why' after being rejected, you open the door to understanding, gaining insight into areas you might need to improve, or simply learning more about the situation that led to the rejection.
Dealing with rejection can be challenging, but it's important to maintain a perspective on these emotions and stay grounded regardless of success or failure. Our passions have the ability to magnify even minor setbacks, making them seem overwhelming. However, these moments can serve as valuable opportunities for growth, as rejection is an inevitable aspect of pushing boundaries. There is a Taoist tale about a Chinese farmer whose horse runs away. Despite receiving sympathy from his neighbors, he simply responds, 'Hard to say whether it's good or bad.' When the horse returns with a herd and later his son breaks a leg, the farmer's reaction remains unchanged. Even when the son avoids military conscription due to his injury, the farmer's response remains consistent: 'Hard to say whether it's good or bad.' Events are merely events - it is our response that shapes their significance.
Perhaps look to the value of seeing rejection as just another step in the process, one that can teach us something new.
Stephen King“By the time I was fourteen... the nail in my wall would no longer support the weight of the rejection slips impaled upon it. I replaced the nail with a spike and kept on writing.”From On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft'. The novel 'Carrie' had 30 rejections prior to publication.
J.K. Rowling“I wasn’t going to give up until every single publisher turned me down, but I often feared that would happen.”In an interview with The Guardian,Worst Rejection: Twelve publishers rejected Harry Potter before Bloomsbury picked it up.
Sylvia Plath“I am very busy with rejection slips. They are oriental in their approach: they don’t say no, they say nothing, and let you infer rejection by silence.”In a letter to her mother, Worst Rejection: Plath faced repeated rejection in her early career, which deeply impacted her mental health.
Agatha Christie“It is very unfair to expect an author to talk about his own work; it is too much like asking a painter to explain what his picture means. An author’s inspiration is a very private thing, and one can never quite explain why one writes something.”Before finding a publisher for her first book, Christie faced five years of rejection.
Louise Erdrich“I had sent this [story] out many times... and I had received an equal number of rejection slips, all of which said essentially the same thing: ‘No thank you.’”— From the Paris Review interview
Worst Rejection: Prior to her breakthrough novel Love Medicine, Erdrich's stories faced numerous rejections.
James Lee Burke“For 13 years I received nothing but rejection slips, sometimes two and three a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year.”In an interview with The New York Times, Worst Rejection: Despite facing 111 rejections, The Lost Get-Back Boogie eventually found publication and received a Pulitzer Prize nomination.
Beatrix Potter My interest in what would happen was greater than anyone else's. It was the story that mattered, not me.”Reflecting on self-publishing The Tale of Peter Rabbit .The Tale of Peter Rabbit faced rejection from six publishers before Potter decided to self-publish it.
George Orwell 't is just possible that in 50 years time we may look back on this age of totalitarianism as a golden age.”Orwell reflects on the rejection of Animal Farm.Four publishers rejected Animal Farm before it became a classic.
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